(broad)ject self #12: Self-Care When...It's Good Here

The issues of (broad)ject self thus far have generally been inspired by challenges I’ve been facing any given week. The struggle I had last week, ending in me ultimately emailing you cat videos, was that I couldn’t think of anything particularly tough that had happened the previous week. The same thing happened this week, but I was able to recognize it for what it was. Because you know what? Things are actually pretty good here.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I could give you a list of things that are stressing me out and causing me varying levels of anxiety right now. But all the work I’ve done with regards to my health and self-care over the last nine-ish months is finally starting to pay off. It’s a weird feeling, as I mentioned in a previous issue, when things are going well as my immediate reaction is that it’s simply the calm before the storm. It’s different this time though, as I’ve mentally identified the potential risks and I feel somewhat prepared for them. That’s not to say that the universe could come up with something awful and tragic beyond my expectations, but life is too short to be that organized.

The real risk for me now is getting complacent, thinking that I can ease back on the self-care because I’m in a good place. We’ve all done it, I’m sure. We have lots of physical energy so we stay up too late for a bunch of nights in a row and…feel tired again. We have lots of mental energy and go back to our old ways of putting other people’s needs first and…feel wrung out again. Regular exercise/stretching has gotten us feeling light and lithe but we fall out of the habit and…feel bloated and sore again.

For me, feeling good means that it’s time to double down on self-care. The work I’ve been doing with my nutritionist has changed my diet completely and once the holidays are over (because I’m only human), I’m planning to take a break from some foods that are very dear to my heart. I’m keeping an eagle eye on my calendar to make sure it doesn’t get overrun with too many nights out, because I know that I need a couple of nights at home a week to get shit done and feel sane. I’d like to get back to running in the spring, so I’m keeping up with my physio, yoga, andstrength training so that my body is ready to hit the pavement.

The holidays are creeping up as well, and for me that means heading back to Winnipeg for nine days. Those visits heal my heart and soul, but I have to be vigilant about not letting my demonic hair-shirted martyr out of her oubliette of guilt. This year I’m really trying to establish what my self-care musts are, so where I have to be strict and strong and where I can afford to be a little laxer since it’s Christmas. I think that probably means daily yoga, daily quiet time, and who am I kidding, daily Slurpees (maaaybe don't tell my nutritionist).

We’ll talk a little more about self-care over the holidays next week, but this week I would love for you to sit down quietly for a few moments and really think about how your heart feels:

Is it light and radiant? What can you do to grow that feeling? What have you been telling yourself you’d do once things finally got quieter/easier/simpler/better. This is your moment, kiddo, so make your move.

Is it heavy and aching? What is the single thing you could do in the next hour that could bring you some peace? Remember, today is not over yet. I promise that someone in your life is ready and willing to help if only you have the courage to ask.  

I want to hear about it no matter what, so find me at broadjectinc@gmail.com(or just reply to this email) and tell me everything.

Self-caringly yours,

Sian

PS - I wrote this on the train back from Belleville, as is my habit. I couldn't get on the wifi to post on the train and wasted an hour trying to conquer VIA Rail's WIFI, to no avail. I made stupid choices on how to get home, transit-wise. I got a venti Chai Egg Nog Latte from Starbucks. I got stressed out and anxious about some stuff. But...now I'm going to take a deep breath, have a hot shower, a big glass of water, a snack, and then do some yoga. Because it's good here and I've got this.